the reflections of abis.

It’s past 7.30 pm, it’s Friday. As I exit my company, i cant help thinking back over my life. It all changed on 2nd December 2006, i stepped into Banglore with a big suitcase packed with dresses, bedsheets, cosmetics and shoes. I had to move for what I still cant classify as a like or dislike. My internship and corporate life will start 2 days hence. Hmm… I enter Comfort Homes, Yet another PG here, my room was shady and dark, 5 cots stacked in a average sized room. Lonely feelings start creeping in, but lonliness is not as new to me as the city, language and lifestyle.

The cold morning breeze was refreshing, fully motivating to start a life on my own, I said to myself “now I am the boss”. Internsip life was not great, too many things to learn, I did not make a great start either. For some reason I couldnt gel well with the hindi community. I wasnt sure what to speak and what not to. Preferred to speak less and concentrate on learning from the bottom up. It took almost a month to get my ‘Hello World!’ printed through Java, it was a joy learning things but I had to miss a lot… Missed my family, missed my college, missed the cricket matches, the trips my friends in college had. It wasnt a tought guess that my fun life has ended. I kept muling over these thoughs as I took long walks back from my company to the PG. Soon, I has a few friends from my college accompany me in this lifecycle, this is when the ‘bangalore bachelors’ life starts… I slogged throughout the weekdays and hogged on weekends. Bangalore is amazing in one way, party, pubs and wealth, all are in abundance. Six months passed, and I was on a much sought out vacation in Goa. The recent disturbances made me booze for the first time… not much, half a bottle of Fosters. Lying back on a hammock, midnight in a private island, i had one of the peaceful sleeps i had in the past 6 months.

Coming to the present, Tonight I am leaving back to coimbatore after almost a month. This has been my longest stint in Bangalore without returning back hometown. This time I am going in a proper booked bus, the Govt buses I would take before used to be adventurous, running all over to get a seat, sometimes i had to wait many hours for getting a bus. I always enjoyed the trips though, i learnt to kill hunger on roadside eateries, I learnt to endure the cold nights, I learnt to endure different people. Tonight my bus was loaded mostly with the ‘IT people’. These guys look a lot different. Nice T-shirts, shoes, cellular phones and backpacks. No movies in this bus and all plunged into sleep soon.

Getting out of the bus, Coimbatore was relatively silent. I walked through my regular path. It was just a month, but it felt different. The road appeared narrower. No much people were awake this early in the morning. I was able to recollect a few moments back in my life in this place. I had walked these roads since I was 6 years old. Cricket, hide and seek, lock and key, upeat… I have played them all here. I learnt cycling in these roads, I have fallen down shed some blood as well here. As I entered college, I blazed these roads on my pulsar, much to the rage and envy of the neighbours… But today, I am walking swiftly with a luggage bag… I can see how my life has changed from a scool kid to a college goer and now as an employee. Nothing much has changed in our streets, the premier press which had opened when I was very young is still there but with a new name board now, annachi kadai, kozhi kadai, robin kadai all are still here. I could see the newspaper boy, he resembeled his expired dad, he had the same cycle and the same ‘thina thandhi’ bags on the handle bar. I could see the milk man going houses. Once when i was a kid I had mocked the milk man singing ‘vandhenda paalkaaran…’, and he chased me into my houseplayfully, since then I have always been a bit scared of him! A couple of old persons enquired how i am doing, “they should have seen me growing up all these years”, I told to myself.

I opened the gates to my house, the front doors were opend and I could hear my mom watering the plants, I walked over the side path to have a glimpse of her. Instantly i was filled with joy seeing her almost after a month. But soon, all the joy vanished as I realized she had lost weight and not looking healthy. Along with all the changes i had noticed on my way, my parents also have aged, now living all by themselves, many hunderd kms from where I work. They have worked hard for almost 30 years now, just to feed me and bring me to this level, but here I am, In bangalore in pursuit of my career and dreams. My dad also looked weaker. I could see them rejoice on seeing me back. I could not stop wondering why I am not able to give them this happiness every day. I learnt that my parents were really having few health problems, but still working and managing themselves without disturbing me. It’s time to take a decision.