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Am I done yet? December 30, 2008

Posted by Abishek in Uncategorized.

I have been standing still for while now… My eyes were locked with his, in a steady gaze. He looked very similar to me. A super short hair cut, thick eyebrows and a dark tan. It’s yet another day, yet another morning. The lateral reflection in front of me appeared to shoot a million rapid fire questions. What the fuck man!


Few months back, sitting idle at the hospital room, my fingers tuned HBO, then showing ‘Are we done yet’ – a certainly flop movie. My mom being at the post-operative ward and no one else in the room, I locked the television frequency. The story was about a man who tries to make his best decisions, but every time it screws up even bigger. The movie struck a chord… no, rattled all chords with me. Now, on new year’s eve, I cant help thinking back how the year had passed.


January 2008 started with a bang. Just a month ago, the bull markets had smiled a handsome unrealized profit, but all was gone in just five minutes one ‘fine’ day. It did not take many revolutions of the clock for me to discover than I was nailed on Saturn’s box. My job kept me technically happy, generated good cash flows into the positive quadrant, but my heart was never really happy. I hated to miss out the evenings. I hated to miss out being free. I hated to miss out not being myself. I got an amazing opportunity, an interview with Capital One, but D-day I could not even multiply digits – screwed up. Once I had to give a presentation on tele-conference, I was so confused with the meeting that I did not even realize when I had to present – screwed up. I was running late to office, bike punctured – screwed up. No puncture shop nearby – screwed up. The crow perfectly shits on me – screwed up. Finally came the day I resigned. One of my proudest moment a year back, getting this job, and today, it looked like a big relief to resign.

The bad luck did not stop though, it followed the sensex pattern – consistently kicks ass. I rented a new house, shifted my parents here, bought a slew of home products and finally became penniless. I started my new job with a lot of optimism. I knew I could do things, but for some reason everything stopped working with my magical touch – Either outlook doesn’t work or Visual Studio doesn’t work or even freaky you tube doesn’t work. God damn PC stopped working once. I thought it’s ok, things will change. It did change… It became worst. My CAT was a big flop, in spite of coaching classes and the pack of mocking cats, I was still smitten – both on my wallet and on the test. My memory also got volatile, I forgot to make tax saving investments, I forgot to meet friends, I even forgot my car number. Few times I forget to remove my helmet even after parking the bike. My TV also stopped working and if I dialed customer care their telephone stopped working. I try print an e-ticket – the website stops working. If it works – then printer stops working. I open the tap – no water. I switch on the pump – no electricity. I want to buy a guitar – no money. I promise to take out my Mom – car punctured. I change a new tube and next day go to meet a friend – again puncture, defect in the new tube this time though. Many times I get lost on directions. I see two roads, I think left is the correct road and take left, but the other road is correct. If I think left is correct but take the right road, still the other road is the correct one. If there is only one road? Then I am traveling the wrong direction. Phew! There is a big list of things that don’t work well with me – mobile phone, internet, bike, car, shoes, bags, credit cards, traffic police, dvds, aptitude exams, computers, software, money, equities, sports, tv, pen, couriers and mosquitoes. I know the list is still in expansion phase…


A stolen quote:
Failure is not when we fall, but when we refuse to rise again.

God! Then go ahead, bring it on me.
Welcome 2009… and Happy New Year!